Covisioning: Getting What You Want...Together, by Marcia Reynolds

Every day business partners battle, client tempers explode, and suppliers miss deadlines under the guise of a "misunderstanding." Is poor communications the cause? In my experience coaching partners and teams, I`ve found that the problem originates the moment someone forms an expectation.

    Effective meeting planning requires the miracle of collaboration. Whenever two people come together, each conjures up pictures of the relationship and final result. They may discuss numbers and deadlines, yet they seldom reveal these images. Whether it`s personal or business, if visions differ, people either collide in the process or verbally retreat, destroying the chance of developing a satisfying union.

    I call the process for blending expectations "covisioning." You can use these steps to covision everything you do with one or more people, from a multi-year business plan to a family vacation.

    STEP 1. Clarify Assumptions. Each person writes down what they expect to occur. The more details, the better. How do you picture the final result? What does each person do to make this happen? What decisions are shared?

    STEP 2. Determine Your Measures of Success. After you write your vision, take a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns. Label one side "Terribles" and the other "Must Haves." This is also an individual exercise.

    Under the first column, write the top three things you feel would be terrible to happen. Examples include, “problems get huge before they’re discussed,” and “money is spent without approval."

    Under the second column, write the top three things you feel you must have to make the partnership work for you. An example might be, “we communicate face-to-face at least once a week.”   

  The purpose of this exercise is to understand what each of you considers as vital to a good relationship. All other items are less critical and easier to blend.

    In a quiet setting, take turns reading your visions and lists aloud. Don`t argue points. Listen with respect.

    STEP 3. Construct a Covision. If there’s no disagreement, you`re home free. If you collide on an issue, take the time to work out your differences. If possible, go for a win-win approach, a solution that meets everyone’s needs.

    Once the differences are ironed out, you can weave your visions together. Ask the following question, "If we were watching a videotape labeled ‘Post-Conference Party,’ or ‘Our Three-Year Business Anniversary,’ what would we be celebrating?" Record the results on paper. Then combine related items into paragraphs.

    When you’re done, read the paragraphs aloud. Then toast the masterpiece you composed together.

    STEP 4. Make it Happen. When you`ve completed your covision, follow up by setting goals and agreeing to actions to make the plan a reality. Don’t leave until you both agree on the steps to be taken.

    Successful relationships depend on collaboration. Make it a habit to discuss and negotiate expectations regularly with everyone in your life to maintain a foundation of agreement and respect.