A Healthy Supply Of Energy Is Needed For Success, by Marcia Reynolds

I’ve been advised to persist all of my life. Hard work and a never-give-up attitude are the ingredients for success. “Keep your feet on the ground, nose to the grindstone, and never look back.”

    No doubt, these are words of wisdom from people who have achieved great things. Yet for everyone who champions willpower and determination, there is a counterpart declaring, “I should have done something else.” Almost everyone I know harbors a number of personal and career regrets. Many an opportunity is missed when under the spell of persistence.

    Therefore, I’m going to take a risk and tell you that there are times when a goal or an entire vision should be scrapped. This mandate may sound counter to the motivational concepts popular today. I believe in the power of goals. I also believe that if the wind is about to topple your ship, it’s time to change course. And when your child begs for attention, your ulcers scream for Mylanta, and everyone is telling you to give it a rest, heed the signals. A change of heart can save your heart, emotionally and physically.

    How do you know when to dig in your heels or take flight? The Energy Allocation Exercise will help you make decisions. You can use it when facing a major issue, or when you find yourself frustrated by a particular person or situation. Remember, moving on isn’t always a matter of giving up. Rather, it’s making conscious choices as to how to best divvy up our most precious resources — time, stamina, and the ability to create.

    Step 1. Divide a sheet of paper in half. Label the left side “Can’t Control” and the right, “Can Control.” Now think about the specific goal you’re struggling to achieve.    

    Step 2. Under “Can’t Control,” list the aspects of the situation you’re unable to change. Be honest. If the people you’re trying to convince haven’t budged in months, it’s safe to say you’re wasting your time. When you can finally let your manager’s insensitive remarks roll off your back, and accept your spouse’s preference for getting ready at the last minute, you’ve disengaged from the struggle. Quit banging your head against the wall. Open your arms and let the difficulty fly away. The energy you’ll liberate can then be better placed.

    Step 3. In the “Can Control” column, list what is within your power to affect. Start with your own reactions. And include anything you can do to influence the situation, like asking others for help or modeling the change you want to create.

    Now ask yourself, “Am I spending time on what I can control?” This is where you should expend your energy. Few excuses justify inaction in this column. If you feel trapped or helpless, direct your energy to where you can take charge.

    Complete the Energy Allocation Exercise regularly. Over time, you should find a greater sense of inner power with less anger and frustration. A healthy supply of energy is needed for success.