Habits of the Heart, by Jeff Conley

Hard work is a virtue- but constant overwork is a liability. While seasons of intensity and occasional sacrifices are justifiable in the short term, a work culture that demands constant sacrifice of time away from work and time from family is toxic to the long term success of both the enterprise and the individual. Constant intensity starves the spirit and cancels the creativity and passion that led you to your profession.

If you are currently working under a model of results that believes the only path to success is through sixty to seventy hours a week at work and broken promises to yourself and your family, you need to know there are other paths. There are paths to success wide enough for family, friends and fun. The key is in the ability to recognize these paths and the desire to take them.

How do you know if you are working on the wrong path? When you see one of life's biggest red flags that says, "When your work becomes the dominating force adversely affecting your family, it's time to make a change- a change in attitude or a change in the way you work."

The story of Roy Neel illustrates the concept of changing the way we work to help build a path for lasting and complete success. Roy's story appeared in the March 6, 1995 issue of Newsweek, which described him as the deputy chief of staff in the Clinton administration. Roy's days were full, with workweeks of fifty-five hours, and always being on call:

"I got downright tired of being tethered to my beeper 24 hours a day," says Neel. A seemingly tame but wrenching episode with Walter, his nine-year-old son, convinced him that work, even for the President of the United States, is not worth the price. Walter and his dad were heading out the door for a long- promised baseball game when the phone rang. It was the President. Little Walter was not impressed. When Neel looked up an hour later, Walter was gone. He had bummed a ride with a neighbor, leaving dad holding the phone. "Our society is schizophrenic," says Neel. "We praise people who want to balance their lives, but reward those who work themselves to death."

Roy Neel listened to his wake-up call. He saw life's big red flag and found a new path to success, one that was wide enough to take Walter and the rest of his family along for the ride. How about you? Are you ready to find your new path?

For ten years I've wrestled with finding a simpler but successful path at work and be the kind of parent and spouse my family deserves. I have found a way to do both. My discovery happened when I started asking myself some soul- searching questions. I wrote them down in my day planner and they haunted me daily.

These questions were important to me because they challenged me to find a changeless sense of direction in times of confusion and constant change. They helped me feel connected with a higher purpose and made me feel that I was part of something that was bigger than myself. I didn't know at the time that these questions would be of value to anyone other than me. But over the years, many people from all walks of life have told me of the value they have found in asking themselves similar questions.

I began working to condense my list of short bite-sized questions relating to finding the path to success that would fit my dreams and my family. I named these bite-sized questions Habits of the Heart. Each Habit of the Heart is meant to be a gentle reminder of the feedings necessary to nourish the hungers of the heart. I hope you will be as richly rewarded as I have been, just by asking these simple questions of yourself every day: