The Awesome Power of Asking the Right Questions, by Barton Goldsmith, PhD

After his work covering The Iran Hostage Crisis, newscaster Ted Koppel was asked to run for the Presidency. He declined by saying that if he had to stop asking questions and start answering them, he would lose his power.

Understand that the purpose of questions is to assist both the questioner and those being asked in finding answers. They are meant to assist - not to demean, and will help everyone involved to find balance. St. Francis (and Steven Covey) said "Seek to understand (rather) than to be understood." You can`t do this without asking appropriate questions. Just the act of asking makes other people feel that you care, and that you want to listen to what they have to say. It creates a positive feeling in people, and will allow everyone to work together to find the best answers.

When someone goes off track, asking a direct question like, "Is that what you really meant?" or "Is this going where you had intended?", is a great way to help them stay on their original path. Use questions to help others find answers for themselves rather than answering for them. This creates self-esteem and empowers them to do more for themselves. It also frees you to do your job, rather than take the time to help them do theirs. Everyone gets lost from time to time. A great way to avoid embarrassment, and gain some time to gather your thoughts, is to ask someone an open ended question like "What do you think of this or that?"

Questions will help you deal with difficult people. Engage the other party in helping you solve the issue. Asking "How can we solve this together?", is a great way to turn a potential conflict into a teamwork situation. It will make the other person think in a different way, and they wonít feel they have to deal with the situation alone. Knowing you`ve got an advisor or a helping hand can make the difference between solving a problem or making it bigger.

What do you do if someone is confronting you? Ask them a question. Asking a very simple and pointed question like "Why?" is a great way to turn the tables, and put yourself in the power position. Learn to ask these questions in a non-accusatory manner. Difficult questions make most people feel uncomfortable. It`s best to learn how to ask them in a way that helps the person you are asking feel safe about giving you an answer. That being said, sometimes difficult questions are the only way to get the answers you need. If the question is going to be difficult, make sure that at the very least, the environment is comfortable. Don`t begin what the other party may feel is an inquisition in a public or uncomfortable place. Also, do your best not to ask difficult questions over the telephone, give them the courtesy of a face to face conversation. Besides, you will want to look into their eyes to see if they`re being totally honest.

Instead of saying "NO" to a client or customer, ask them a question, find out more about what they need or want. It can change their (and your) perspective on the situation. It can also turn an unhappy customer into a cheerleader for your company. Asking appropriate questions makes a person feel that you care about what is bothering them. Marshal Fields said, "Customers, when given a choice of where they spend their money, invariably go back to a place where they have been made to feel special."

When you want people to think about what they`re doing, ask an evaluation type question. To build stronger relationships with team members, ask open-ended questions about your company. Get their advice on how things can be improved upon. Just the act of asking will make them feel that you care about their opinions. Doing this on a regular basis creates a stronger bond between your company, your team members and you. It will also give you insights into your business that you may never get otherwise. A great way to do this is with a Company Evaluation. This should be an annual process where you ask company-specific questions of your entire staff. This is a powerful process, and you will learn a great deal about your business, as well as your team.